Welcome to AngelStar Haven!

Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
If you want to cry or sigh
Don't forget to just drop by
If you ever stray afar
there is always Angelstar :)

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Ending the year....

That's what..and how it's become for me on the last day of 2008

Don't ask me what, why or how...
I am just on the verge of explosion

Anyway, it was somehow not so bad
I don't know
Call it telepathy or something
But today, my good ol' bestie and one of my oldest best girl friends (chi mui) chatted with me online
And somehow they managed to lighten how I felt

They didn't do anything actually....
And I didn't tell them anything either
But just talking to them somehow left me rather relieved
and I didn't feel that agitated

I don't know...
The magic of friends?
At the same time, they left me missing all my good old friends
Who have never forgotten about me wherever I am
My hometown friends
My school friends
My neighborhood friends

It seemed like a magical Christmas and New Year season for me this year
I believe I have truly been touched by the angel of love and friendship
And I felt blessed to have all of these wonderful all weather friends (definitely no fair weather friends)

You have reminded me that I am not alone
You guys and gals have always been there perfectly where I stand

I heard on the Chinese channel (radio) this morning; the DJs were posing a question
"If you were given one word to describe the year 2008, which word would it be?"

Which word would I choose?
I think I would choose Faith

I've experienced Change in this year
And it was not an easy decision
But it was nevertheless realized
And I know that had I not have the faith
I would never have done it

I had faith in GOD who ruled above
I had faith in myself
I had faith in people around me

And most importantly, I had people around me having faith in me!

Which word would it be for you for the year 2008?

Monday, December 29, 2008


How do you tell someone when you are doing something for her own good, but yet you can't say it? (due to some certain reasons)
How can you say no without hurting her feelings?
How do you go about making her see that you mean no harm or ill-feeling?

How do you make her understand that you did not want things to be that way either?

Most importantly, how to make her happy?

Thanks, I have recovered!

Sorry for the late words of gratitude; but I've just finally gotten down to my keyboard and checking all those emails.
I have replied most of the text messages (SMSes) sent to inquire on my health condition, etc

I know, it's been really bad the past 2 weeks prior to the holiday season, I first broke down with dry throat which then launched into fever, sore throat(which really hurts, for the record), headache....that's a lot of symptoms, right?
I even had diarrhoea and vomiting, on the first

I went to the clinic, and was on MC for 2 days, and then back to work.
Over the weekend, I developed stronger symptoms which resulted in my loss of voice on a Monday and due to the aches all over the body, I had to take off again.
This time was worse, the pain in the throat was bad, I could barely squeak (or swallow!), and the fever's back and headache, and there's even a runny nose!
Talk about tough luck!
Not just that, the cough was starting, dry cough and then it felt like something's stuck in the throat and I just couldn't help feeling nauseous.

Second visit to the doc, and still no improvement.
In fact, the cough and pain got worse..and I am amazed that I was already on the antibiotics and there seems be no healing effect.

It was almost 4 days when I finally decided enough's enough and I consulted a doctor in hospital, and I was finally on recovery track!
Right on time for Christmas, and then I was smacked with another allergy problem, SIGHS!

Don't ask me about it, I developed some weird skin irritation towards a substance which was suspected in one of the mild stuffs I use, surprisingly!
Anyway, I had to be on medication again, for my allergy...through Christmas.

I am recovering now, so I just want to thank everyone of you who have sent your regards and were concerned about my condition:)
I am getting better and I will be great in no time!

You have a poppin' New Year 2009 too~

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

~~**Merry Christmas...HO HO HO!**~~

Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

Went to Queensbay Mall for the past week and noticed the Big Doraemon and white stage for Christmas which gave me a very Christmassy feel.
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

Just want to wish everyone a very happy and Merry Christmas!
Rejoice for our Lord Jesus Christ is born to the world!~

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Rose

In this season of love, let us love one another as we love ourselves.
I find this rather meaningful to share and I am sure we are not strangers to this story, of
The Rose

Some say love......it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.

Some say love..... it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love..... it is a hunger
An endless, aching need

I say love..... it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.

It's the heart..... afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance

It's the dream.... afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one..... who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give

And the soul.... afraid of dying
That never learns to live.

When the night..... has been too lonely
And the road has been too long.
And you think.... that love is only
For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember..... in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,
In the spring, becomes the rose.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

I mean shopping...as in shopping

Have you ever done it before?
I mean, you go shopping and you want to get something but you end up getting something else along the way, and I mean, many more other things?

It's like a natural; I was heading for one thing in my mind, and then, took a peek here and there which I couldn't resist and then, hey, that's not bad for that price, etc.
It's a trap; it is!

Anyone of you who had the same problem or am I the only one who's lost it?:p

**I pride in being a very disciplined person when it comes to buying; I am a controlled shopper and I don't spend unnecessary since young; probably due to the culture I was brought up in. However, a girl will always be a girl yea?:) **

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

All I want for Christmas is...

I have already prepared my wish list of course; and posted in my blog but I do have a very very important wish which I list on top of all...
I want my good health back...

It has been a disaster; I don't know why am I so prone to injuries these days; from my right knee sometime in June
Then my left foot recently; which hilariously got caught by a huge tree root of a century-old tree and turned out to be such a nasty wound that there is no place for laugh anymore.

Then I was slapped with fever, vomiting and diarrhoea last week; after my Johor trip (no pun intended)
And I thought I'd recover; but I woke up with a bad throat this morning and I even lost my voice!
Yeah, laugh, I was practically speechless for 2 days and I was put on antibiotics.
It's been almost a week now; and I have completed my course of medicine but I am still having the dreadful sore throat.

I am surprised by how long this sore throat took to heal and it's making me want to choke, vomit and even cough!
Great medicine and diagnosis huh; I went to get well and yet I ended up getting worse right now; with an additional number of symptoms:(

And to even add to the bad situation, yesterday my left arm hit against the wall and the metal door hinges which is now giving a big and swollen bruise on my arm.

God, I really do ask for no mishaps, wounds and sicknesses anymore...I want to get well for Christmas!!

I am thinking of going for another consultation; this time with a different doctor/clinic....I want to get well soon

Monday, December 15, 2008

A Night of Masquerade Mania

Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
I did it again; I have donned on that mask again for my annual dinner and dance this year after the last masquerade party in my company.
This year, in this company, they also decided to choose the masquerade theme for their yearly function.
I don't get it, what's with the masking effect where you can't even show your face to the public?

On a lighter note, I am intrigued by the fancy dresses and costumes inspired by this theme since the Renaissance period and who will not think of the Phantom of the Opera when the word masquerade is mentioned?
Made popular by the movie and the mystic feel of this theme, it has been widely used as the themes in most parties and even corporate functions!

In the earlier months, our HR has already circulated emails to seek the opinions of all the employees on their favored themes for the upcoming annual event. We were required to vote from 3 themes:
1. Masquerade Mania
2. Carribean
3. Exotic Hawaiian or something like that

No prize for anyone who guessed the finalized theme; since I've already revealed it in the post title.
I was stunned for a while when they announced the results as last year, yeah, just last year, I went through the Masquerade night as part of the organizing team!!
Yeah, I was sort of the theme style-design choreographer in my organizing team and was in charge of the deco, posters, layout and even tickets design!
Needless to say, I was definitely in the know about this theme.

I was looking forward to something more new, exciting and interesting; something which I've never experienced, oh well, I just decided why not, go ahead and let's see what they have in store this year.
After all, new environment, new people and I am not even in the organizing team!

For a change, it's back in my hometown this year where I have my beloved family members to give their opinions on my attire, etc and I can give my wardrobe a big hug, something to cheer about, eh?:)

I arrived on Thursday night; late night flight as the following Friday morning, there was another scheduled event in another hotel.
We even get to go off at 3pm to get ready for the dinner and dance!
(That was actually the cool part; although I doubt that we'd have enough time to prepare for the dinner; especially the ladies...hairdo, make-up, dressing up, etc etc)

Great for me, this year I didn't want to waste my money and time on all these; as I dread the horrendous traffic should I get stuck after all that wonderful work.
Furthermore, my 'sisters' are not around so half the fun's gone!

I had plenty of time; and I was on time despite the matching of my shoes, bags, hairdo, etc to snap a picture of myself before I headed out the door.

It rained rather heavily that evening; kinda dampened my spirits a little....remember that song sung in Grease?
~ It's raining, on prom night...my hair is a mess... It's raining, it's raining...oh oh oh~~

Yeah, baby, exactly how I felt at that time, although I wouldn't want my hair to be a mess!
Due to the heavy downpour as well, the traffic was rather bad! Bummer
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

I arrived there on time and was greeted by wonderful environment; which made me feel like a princess.
After all, this is Mandarin Oriental; one of the 5-stars hotel in the capital city!
I walked up the spiral stairway which was covered with red carpet all the way; wow, talk about extravagance!

I was considered the early birds; judging by the crowd at that time.
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
I was led to the registration table; and the deco were so cool, isn't it?
I love the way they formed this magical gifts tree; which they used to hang all the door gifts on it.
Great idea; noted...

They even have a hall of fame!
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
You stand behind this make-up backdrop, which was lined with red carpet(again!) and you get your picture taken by a professional photographer and you will get the hardcopy of your photo printed and embedded within a memorable photo frame later.
Talk about stardom; this is ultimate Hollywood-nism man!

A peek into the Grand Ballroom; admittance was restricted before the start of the function
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

Taking a good look around, there were so many interesting costumes around!!
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
These people are really into the theme huh; I bet they spent $$ and time on their make-ups and attires.
I am impressed by the good sports in these people, who took the effort to appreciate the theme!
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

The Mask of Zorro!
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
And his friend, Sor Lou? (No pun intended; and no offense)
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
I applaud the cool factor in these gentlemen; for dressing up for this event.
I could cry tears if I was the organizer to see so many theme-abiding folks this year; compared to my last party.

Look, I spotted another cool guy who donned a Renaissance costume; kinda like Francis Light/Stamford Raffles or those Victorian styles back then (as my bro said)
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

This is what I call STYLE!
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

I couldn't resist taking a pic with this German guy who was obviously the center of everyone's attention!
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

And I love this girl's mask, which was DIY from the white mask frame given by the company!
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

They even had a magician; a rather amateur one but nevertheless an entertaining guy who makes an effort to keep the crowd happy:)
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

And this is our President; a sporting guy who also made his own black and white mask:)
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

Some random pics of my colleagues; we traipsed through the red carpet and also cam-whoring everywhere!
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

Finally, the start of the event at about 8.30pm
The ballroom doors were opened and there was a loud chiming of the opening beats of the Phantom of the Opera song!
(That was the idea I proposed to my team last year! But it was banned, saying that this was such a sad tune:(
I am glad my idea was rather creative after all; I should be an event organizer, huh?:)
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
Lovely lovely.....I loved the settings

We marched into the ballroom; and the ladies were greeted by costume-fitted servers who handed us fresh roses from their baskets (the roses had slightly wilted; but I was still thrilled by the extravagant welcome:)
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
They had a big mask on the stage; which was also the same thing I thought of my annual dinner last year; and I even used that for our opening ceremony!

Lightings were dim, and laser lights were beamed around the room
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
There were light scented candles with petals of roses on our dining tables; which were arranged in long tables
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

They even had an amplified voice of the Phantom which gave the opening boom and the orders that everyone is to have fun and nothing but fun for the whole night!
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

Did I mention how much I was enjoying the night?
The deco, the settings, the music, and the food was buffet style; and they had the courtesy to let the ladies to the buffet line first before the gentlemen.

There were so many performances and games that night; and the lucky draw prizes were cool as well.
Only bummer; I didn't win anything despite the beautiful number I had on my ticket:(
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

Oh well, they had additional draws the week after, and I still won something - consolation prize:)
So, better than nothing.

This was definitely a night to remember!
*But please, no more Masquerade themes*

I was told that this event was partly organized by an event planner and I was thinking, hey, most of the ideas were similar to mine....hehe, am I qualified or what?
Just some wishful thinking:)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A horrifying experience in Johor Bahru

It was the occasion of marriage of our close friends which brought us all the way to this state in the south.
I had been looking forward to this wedding; not just to grace the blessed union between both wonderful friends but also to the gathering of all my old friends whom I have rarely seen over this year.

It was definitely a heart-warming occasion to see one of my best girl friends getting married in style and to be able to help her out with it; which I shall blog about it soon with the photos as well.

After the wedding dinner, there was about 6 of us in the same car who decided to take the night further to explore one of the famous university hangout place in the other side of Johor Bahru; called the Anjung Warisan.
The other bunch of friends had no choice but to return to the hotel first as they had to return the car they were riding in to the groom's mother.

We proceeded; all 6 of us, to look for the place; with the guidance of 4 of the ex-UTM students in the car who were the ones who talked about the place.
The direction was to use the smaller lanes by the highway as the place was located within a secluded housing area.
Upon embarking on the little lane, we noticed two men on each side of the road stopping another car in front of us as we were approaching.

Instinctively, the guys (there happened to be 3 guys and 3 girls in the car) checked to see if all the car doors and windows were locked upon approaching the 2 men in front who did stop us; one of them walked to the middle of the road, put up his hand to put our car to a halt.

The man on our right ordered our friend, who was the driver to wind down his window.
The rest reminded him to only wind a fraction of the window and not all the way down to prevent any funny tricks played by this man in plain clothes.

The man requested for our identity cards for check, and one of my girl friends spoke from the back of the car
"Encik, mana ID? Sila tunjukkan pas pengenalan encik!"

The Malay man gave us cold look, especially at my friend and continued to demand for our identity cards, while my friend continued with the same persistence demanding for his identity pass to prove that he is a policeman as well.
"Tak boleh macam ini, Encik. Pak Lah sudah kata kena tunjukkan ID encik sebelum menghentikan kereta. Ini tak mengikut undang undang negara!"

The Malay man finally gave up after the argument with us and started to search for his ID in his shirt; and then taking out his ID from a small slit in the wallet.
He flashed the ID for a while at our window and demanded for our IC again.
My friend tried to take the ID from him, claiming that we couldn't see very well and we cannot believe that he is a real policeman.
After all, this is a rather lonely stretch of a road, and we do have the right to ignore him and drive straight to the police station should there be any arising issue.

The Malay man got rather frustrated and somehow told us to stop in front.
Our friend drove the car slowly ahead while most of us persuaded him to just ignore and just leave the place as it does not seem to be an actual operation by the authorities.
A few metres ahead, we spotted another Malay man by the road; with a walkie talkie who gave us a look as well.

We still drove past him slowly, without stopping although our friend believed that they are police due to the walkie talkie he had in his hand.
However, we were still not convinced as walkie talkies can be obtained anywhere and anyone can own it.

A little bit further, we start to see white police cars parked by the side of the road and there was indeed an Ops going on.
I tell you, I could really breathe in relief when I saw the cars!
I mean, I have never been fond of them anyway, and I have had this phobia since my last incident with these so-called law enforcers on the highway 3 years ago (but I still will not judge all of them based on my own prejudice, just that I never felt comfortable with them)

Anyway, we were flagged to the side by a man, this time, one in the full police uniform and as our friend wound down the window, we explained to him about our thoughts.
This policeman was rather kind in responding and he informed us that the men who stopped us earlier was higher in rank and was actually CID; which entitled them to be in plain clothes while on duty.

We explained that still, it is according to the country's enforced laws that plain clothes policemen had no right to stop us without first flashing their ID clearly in front of us.
Furthermore, with the arising number of crime cases in the country and the bogus policemen around, we couldn't help doubting the people who stopped us and if they are law enforcers, they wouldn't be going against the law, right?

The kind policemen just assured us that we were stopped due to the overload at the back of our car; where there were four of us.
According to him, this is against the law and we could be fined RM300.

(Someone please correct me, has the law been enforced? I thought it was announced in the newspapers that the law will be there but JPJ and the government will not enforce it due to the inconvenience imposed on families with children?
Is there something which is not known in the police force?
Somehow I felt they are never in sync with the approved laws or decisions made by the government)

Anyway, we didn't push the issue as the kind policeman just decided to let us go without any charge or summon; and just warned us.
Furthermore, it was probably due to our car plate which was registered in Penang that he didn't push the issue further.

Frankly, I was rather relieved when he returned all our ICs and let us off the hook.
I guess he realized that we were terrorized by the earlier so-called higher ranking officers who were obviously ignorant to the country's laws and the advice provided by their head to the public on avoiding bogus policemen.

After that, it was rather a gloomy mood and everyone was no longer enthusiastic to go to the place and yet, we couldn't turn back for fear of bumping into the operation again.
We went around the quiet and dark neighborhood, searching for a way out and miraculously, we found the place.
It was nothing but a unique tree house mamak hangout place which was rather quiet and desolated , surprisingly, since it was a Saturday night!

Anyway, we went in for a drink and tried to avoid the topic but ended up in hilarious results on how we should have responded to the police, thanks to our hilarious friend.
But it was definitely a horrifying experience for me, and I think it deepened my prejudice too!

Well, it was truly a horrid end to a lovely trip/wedding...and we were really affected somehow.
I am still thankful to God for looking after me that night and my friends, for I dare not imagine what could have happen had it been not an actual operation.

To all my friends out there, do be careful and remember to ask for their ID when you are stopped by plainclothes policemen.

Let this serve as a lesson/reminder to all of us and of course, can someone let those in the law know as well?

Monday, December 01, 2008

AGE-ing gracefully~

During a talk show, a famous HK veteran performer Eric Tsang said,
"I am proud to be old today. Everyone has been young before, but not everyone can live to a ripe old age and still be happy. To be able to age with time, is a privilege; as not everyone will be granted this opportunity"

His wise words remain in my mind till this day and I must say I am impressed by the positive side he looked at on the state of growing old and aging gracefully. He even made the prospects of death look so positive. It is no wonder he maintain to stay so cheerful all the time!~

Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
(picture from www.southbirminghampct.nhs.uk)

The idea of aging is never an entertaining thought; what with the women worrying about sagging skin, wrinkles, and the men worrying about their receding hairline, bulging tummy, etc and not to mention the idea of death looming near.
All these being on the list of things to worry about for all of us, but yet at the same time, it becomes an opportunity for all the cosmetic and health products to introduce new anti-aging packages into the market, to thrive and capitalize on the biggest fear among all genders across ages.

The truth is, are we able to combat aging with even the mightiest of all products?

I am not steering this to lash out at all the cosmetic products or to prove that they are of no effect, but to ignite that realization in each and every one of us that age is not our enemy, as perceived negatively throughout ages.
Rather, age should be regarded with respect and pride as it is a gift from above that we live in goodwill and health to witness the wonders of the world.

Eric is not wrong when he said that everyone gets to be young; it is part of the process, but how many will be blessed with the increasing age and still be alive to see the wonders of God's work on the world?
Looking at the high mortality rate due to accidents, disasters, diseases, illnesses, etc, I doubt the number of senior citizens will surpass that of the younger generation.
So true yet at the same time, why do we constantly have that nagging feeling that we hate celebrating our birthdays after 21 years old due to the fear of being reminded of one's increasing age?

I am not spared from this gloomy prospect and somehow, I, too, will dread the thought of becoming older.
Sometimes, when we look at the mirror, we tend to freak ourselves out when we notice how dull we look after those late nights of TV, work, partying, etc.
That's where we start to worry again; and totally kick the idea of aging into reclusion and never want to think of it at all and at the same time, invest our hard-earned money into the ever-booming business of cosmetics, facial or any beauty-enhancing gimmicks which promise immediate results.
All for the sake of disguising our real age and looking younger by years!

Sometimes I wonder, we can disguise and lie to the whole world about our age, but does that make us feel any better?
Does that really masquerade the real age and will that blanket the increasing number in our age?
Face the truth, we can never lie to ourselves as we are aware that no matter how, age is definitely catching up and it is a solid number staring at us.
Of course, wanting to look great is still of vital importance, after all, we are vain creatures, aren't we? (there is no distinction between the genders in this issue as I believe even our male counterparts are scared of the aging process)

The simple solution, that I can think of is, well, just STOP worrying.
The increment in the age number will still come, no matter what, and our constant freak outs will not help at all!
The time we spent thinking and avoiding the issue of our increasing age, can be spent enjoying ourselves and creating all those lovely memories in our photo albums that we can truly pride in when we are at the age where we are entitled to sit in a rocking chair, poring over the beautiful photos of our youth.

Of course, go pamper yourselves with spa, beauty facials, massages, etc, anything that you believe in which will make you feel younger and more beautiful, and confident, whatever it is...just indulge yourselves in that load of fun which can lighten your mood and make you happier (of course, at the same time, keeping a watch on your pocket as well)

What I am trying to say is, the aging process is part of our life and can never be deferred or ignored no matter how we try to avoid.
But instead of making ourselves miserable with the thought and looking haggled (which is worse than aging), we can entertain our thoughts with how to make ourselves look prettier and younger, etc, and take off those worries off our mind on the solid number you get when you subtract the current year from your birth year.

Aging is not such a big issue, isn't it?
Not that I am such a great fan of it, but I personally want to be happy my whole life...and besides, look at the positive side of it, senior citizens do get special privileges and discounts everywhere, don't they?

That's a comforting thought that I will be loaded with wealth and fortune by then!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Why do you have to act like I owe you something?
Am I on the wrong?
Why do you have to show me you are the one in control when obviously you are in the wrong?

Why do I have to say yes to everything?
Why do I have to smile and pretend like it's all okay when it's not?

Why why why??

Saturday, November 22, 2008

You are your OWN enemy

It is one thing to think and another to go ahead and do it!
Most of the time, we always stop to ponder and hesitate about the consequences of our action that we tend to let things just slip by and end up with nothing.

For instance, you may want to invest in a house or a car or perhaps, start your own business.
You get to the details, plan, check out all the potential shop lots and did your own research on what it takes to start up your own business. You even read about the success stories of Tony Fernandez, the dim sum business, Donald Trump, etc and was this close to starting the business.
Then when it came to the time to really withdraw that amount of money or even get that loan from the bank, you sort of chickened out.
You withdraw and decide, "Hey, it's a bad time now"

The economic has just taken a turn downside and you are worried about the outcome of your budding business.
Then you are also worried about the effects of the crisis on your existing job and the negative impact it will have on your life and family financial situation if you lose your job and your business doesn't work out either.
So, you decided that being normal is better and you stick to convention, to play it safe and by the rules.

This is not a made-up story nor is it a script written for a play. This is real and all, I mean each and every one of us has been through this at any point of our lives.
We have strong interests in something which fascinates us and we want to pursue BUT, there is always a BUT in there which keeps holding us back.

I love music and I want to be a musician, BUT...I don't think there is a bright future for me here
I love to go around the world, BUT...I can't spend my money just like that because I need to save for the rainy days
I love to draw cartoon characters and I would like to publish my own comic BUT...how much can a comic artist earn?
I LOVE drawing BUT artists are usually famous after they are dead
I LOVE writing and would like to publish my own book someday, BUT I don't think there will be anyone who is interested in reading my scripts in the first place.

So many I LOVE and even more BUT no!

We are not wrong to practice what we have been taught to do; to weigh the pros and cons and to understand the consequences of our actions.
It is always a thin line between what is wrong and what is right, and also definitely to the careful thinker and a pessimist.

We dream BIG; most of us do, but why are there just a handful who really made it out there?
Stop and think about it, is there really anything stopping us?
Well, once you come to it, you will realize it is a big NO.
You blame it on your parents for wanting you to study engineering or something prestigious when you wanted to do something that you like
You blame it on the society for glorifying the professions of doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc
You blame it on your good grades which made it a waste to study anything else except high profile and smart courses like engineering or medicine
You blame it on your peers and your environment that everyone is going to be shining in their jobs in the future, boasting of masters and PHDs in all the professional fields
You blame it on the demeaning attitude of the media for popularizing the already popular and the rich
You blame it on the lack of financial aid that you have to fund your ambitions
You blame it on EVERYTHING

You see, the root of all that is stopping you from pursuing your dreams is none other than yourself
Yes, the answer is YOU (look at the mirror)
Your mind has been controlling you right from the start.
Your heart wants to do something, your mind goes into the rational mode and weighs all the consequences and tells your mind, NO, that cannot be done

YOU are the only barrier to achieving that dream of yours and be the next big celebrity in your own dream
YOU were all the BUTs
YOU were all the NO-s
YOU are the own's enemy, and no one else.

Face it, what is REALLY stopping you from making that next move except yourself?
If you say your parents forced you to obtain that engineering degree and because they were paying for your education, you had no choice but to do it. BUT what stopped you from finding that passion and dream after you were already an engineer? What makes you think you cannot play music or draw your heart out anymore?
If you say you were busy, well, that comes the next contributing enemy to your own self, EXCUSES!

You can be a writer, why did you think nobody wants to read your pieces?
You were the worst enemy to yourself, you were the one injecting all those bad and negative thoughts into your own mind.
Nobody told you that you were lousy but yourself.
You haven't even made the move, and you were already demeaning yourself.
Of course, no one will ever want to read your pieces or listen to that piece of song you have composed with your band, because you already think you are no good.

Most people never did live their dream despite being told repeatedly that nothing is impossible.
I can't say that risks need not be taken into consideration, but do we seriously not live in a world full of them?
What's the worst that can happen to you if really, no one is interested in your piece of art?
Or no one is interested in your business and there's no one coming to your shop?
Of course, financially, it's harmful, so perhaps, if you want to invest, start small...but do, do, make a first step!
Even a small little hawker stall can be a good start and it doesn't make you go bankrupt.

The worst that can happen to yourself?
What's the worst?

Think about it, what is the WORST thing that can happen?
So what if you fall down? So what if, touch wood, you really didn't make it the first time?
Does that make you a failure forever?
Did our first Prime Minister pass his first law exam and became recognized immediately?
No, he failed more than 5 times or should I say about 9 times before he finally got his degree.
He is our first PM alright, but does that make him more superior?
He is just human just like you and me, and God never created them extra special to be successful
We are all created in the Lord's image and we are capable

Perseverance is a must and the spirit should never just die after one try

Bring out that enemy in yourself and ask yourself, am I being my own enemy?

Of course, this is definitely not applicable to crime wannabes, I do not encourage you to take that big step to rob a bank to make it big.
I believe you know what is wrong and right, LEGALLY and ETHICALLY

Your head is not just for you to grow hair, you know (Smiles)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A World of Venetian Masks

Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

All the world's a stage - William Shakespeare

A brilliant phrase, I must say as it describes the faces in the world in merely five words and it is undeniably true in this world of facade we are living in today.

Speaking from experience?
I can say so, as despite my infant years in the big world, the glimpse that I've had is more than what I expect and is definitely not motivating for further exploration.
Coming from a big city; or rather, a metropolitan city where I grew up in, I have been used to the tricks and street smart tips up my sleeve in order to survive there. Of course, it is also arguable that I was living in a protected environment since young where I am under the constant supervision of my parents and family; not forgetting my school teachers, well, mainly adults who seem to know it all.
When I started earning my own salary, inevitably, I have made my first baby step out of that comfort zone into another zone where I had to deal with unfamiliar faces whom I soon had to face each and every day, due to the nature of my work.

Either I was naive or I just wasn't prepared, I was hit by a wave that came all of a sudden and it took me some time to get into reality and go along and live my life. I mean, some bitching can't just ruin my entire life, and I can't allow myself to let it to either. I am not a weakling and I will not allow myself to be one.

Well, once bitten twice shy and when I am faced with new people, I tend to go back to my old self; the rather cautious and wary type. Trust became a sacred thing and I do not intend to give it away so easily after what I've been through and what I've been taught and brought up to believe in.
Again, you just can't seem to get away from politics. Just when you think things are just over, another comes up again.
It's like the waves or snowballs, that come hitting after you one following the other.

The most amazing part is, these people are such professionals that you'd never guess they are born of such nature. How often can you meet people who are so sweet that it seems so realistically true?

Whenever you think that person is (probably) sweet or kind or if the term too good to be true comes to mind, I'd warn you to be careful because these are the most vicious of the kind as they backstab without a tinge or guilt or remorse.
Sometimes, I feel they deserve an Emmy or an Oscar or something.

It is true that 'Ignorance is bliss'.
Sometimes you're better off not knowing too much, but yet, when you do know, that's when the drama sets in.
I am a person who just dislikes all these bickering and bitching. Gossips are taboo to me too; but I am not an all saint or anything like that.
Being a girl, I do share stories and enjoy hearing stories, but when things turn to the ugly part where you criticize and just de-fame another person, I tend to get really uncomfortable and that's where I want to stay away from the topic. However, things do not work so ideally. Even if you do not want harm to anyone, there is no guarantee the same be granted unto you and I have been a victim of those lashing tongues way too many times that I have lost count.
I do not know what is the matter with these people but I rather not know, perhaps it will make me happier this way, not knowing the reason to those bitching for I foresee it will always be changing, like a chameleon to suit their creativity in making up stories that pleases their own imagination.
It is somewhat pleasing and entertaining for their very own benefit.

(Lets out a big SIGH)
It is not a tough task to figure out that there are way too many masked men out there, in fact, everyone around us is wearing a mask. Not just any mask, a wholly face-covered mask as in the Venetian masks.
We change our masks when we interact with different people; sometimes I even wonder whether we do take our masks off.
One minute we can be goody two shoes or besties with someone and the next you know, we can be backstabbing huh?

*Shudders at the thought*
I am not saying I am such a noble angel or a living saint, but I can safely say that I have never warranted any intention to harm anyone at all.
What is the meaning of being successful and happy when it is constructed upon others' miseries and sufferings?
I dare not and do not want to do that.
I pray for those who have done so; perhaps they know not what they are doing.

It is a huge world out there, and as the great man, Shakespeare had said,
'All the World's a big stage'
Each and everyone of us is acting and whether we are pretending, it is known only to ourselves.

A Venetian mask, anyone?
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Why am I Injured again?

I start to think that this year is a bad year for my skin's well-being..or rather, foot well-being!
The last round, I was injured - right knee
And you're right, I am injured again; this time, my left foot!

Oh my, it was supposed to be a minor abrasion; but I think it turned out really bad and these few days, I kinda dismissed the pain although I had been limping to work.
I put on a brave front and forced myself to walk without a single limp in front of my colleagues and thankfully, no one noticed!

But I couldn't hide the pain anymore and when antiseptic cream applied doesn't work anymore, I had to do something.
I went to the doctor, and initially she thought it was nothing as well....but then, she also said it may have gotten septic!


No injection required, but I am put on antibiotics for the prevention of further infection.

Amazingly, that wound is not huge; rather little; about 5-6 cm in length?
And yet, the pain is rather gigantic in effect!
Gosh, I am really unlucky yeah?

I grazed the foot against a huge tree trunk and I thought it was nothing major on Monday morning as I left for work.
I proceeded to work without having time to tend to the wound until after work; which was about 8-9 hours later...guess that's the key contributor to my pain now!

I was told to scrub my wound!
The doctor said, "You need to scrub your wound!"

And my selective hearing thought she said, "Did you scrub your wound?"
To which I nonchalantly replied, "No, I didn't...."
I didn't manage to finish my reply when she pounced on me almost immediately, "I said you need to scrub your wound, what do you mean you didn't! How dare you?"

Now, talk about selective hearing, and we both burst out laughing
Too bad I can't laugh anymore when I limped out of the clinic

And looked down at my wound
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

Is this a year of injuries and bandages?

Friday, November 07, 2008

And I will raise him up

It was All Souls' Day last Sunday; on the 2nd of November - a time to commemorate our departed loved ones and all those who have been called to their rest for eternity
You may have noticed the masses of people heading to the Christian cemeteries, with bouquets of flowers and packs of candles to pay their respects to their deceased family members

It is once in a year kind of event; and it is celebrated in a rather solemn affair (after all, how extravagant do you want to remember the dead?)

This year, All Souls' Day is announced as a day of obligation, along with the celebration of All Saints' Day which falls on one day earlier
Again, solemnity clouds the minds of all as we are called upon to pray for our loved ones who have gone to their rest

The sermon by the parish priest was inspiring and sentimental; creating the effect of loss and yet the instant strength of survival.
Quote: The dead has gone, but you are still here

It was a matter that we all knew too well in our heart and funnily, we always seem to know how to console someone in grief when they have lost a loved one and yet commit the same mistake when it is our very own experience.
We always find it hard to accept the fact that someone so close to us may not be there to greet us in the morning; we even refuse to look at it that way. At such a stage, we are in denial and it is most common when the demise involves someone very very dear to us.

Death is never an easy topic to discuss nor accept; and it is hardest when it involves a tragic occurence.
A sudden death is unexpected and close family members find it hardest to accept the reality as it takes them by a storm. That does not mean that people are prepared when their family member is sick but at least, mentally, it does not take them by shock.
The passing of a young family member is also another shocking occurrence when his/her death just take place through a tragic occurrence.

Grieve if you must, as it helps with the process of dealing with the reality.
However, grief should not be permanent nor overwhelm your entire life as this is not what it is meant for. Accepting the demise is tough but your world does not revolve around one person in your life. If you love the person very dearly, it will be the same for that person.
Do not take the whole grief into your life that it will affect your surviving days.
Life is short, and it may be sad to lose that person dear to you but life has to go on.
Death is a fact; a reality that will happen to each and every of us; whether we like it or not - fear or no fear.
Everyone has a certain fear of death but it is something that we are looking at since the very day we are born into this world.
Death is like birth, it happens to everyone.
The day we are born, we are already facing the possibility of death and it can come anytime; it's inevitable.
Death does not come knocking on your door, so just deal with it and make sure you live your life that you will not regret it when your time comes.

It was truly touching as I listened to his sermon and since it was somber throughout the mass, the priest even encouraged people to cry or express their grief should they feel emotional during the prayers for their departed ones.
Keeping them in prayers for their happiness with the Lord is the only thing we can do; if we felt we have not done enough for them during their days alive.
Prayers; said sincerely, is our love shown to them and we can also ask for their forgiveness should we have wronged them or even ask for reconciliation.
Hatred and grudges should never be carried to the grave; and this is why we should always practice the way of forgiving and forgetting.
It is not easy again; but think about it, how do you feel if the last word you said to your loved one is "I HATE YOU" and find them gone the next day and you may never see them ever again?
It is always important to reconcile.

As I pray for my departed paternal grandparents, I was inspired by the quotes and sermon by the priest and though I felt a little emotional, I somehow unconsciously held back my tears.
However, when the hymn was played to the rather solemn 'The Bread of Life', I found that I couldn't stop the tears from filling my eyes.

This song is a pinch to my inner senses and reminds me of my paternal grandfather who passed away 14 years ago. It was the first time I experienced death in my own family; and my grandfather, though a man of few words, had always been someone I had gotten so use to seeing him around that I found it really hard when I heard the term death being associated with him.
I was young at that time, but I had already understood the term of death.

I still remember that particular day in March; it was on a Tuesday evening. It had been a few days since my grandfather had been admitted to the hospital for his surgery and he has been recuperating really well.
It was raining heavily a few minutes to 5pm; and the phone in my house rang.
I was the one who picked up the phone and I heard my uncle's voice on the other end, telling me to inform my mum that my grandfather just passed away at 5.15pm
I was stunned and I soon found my voice to shout to my mum that uncle just called to break the news. I remembered my mum looking shocked as well.
I cried immediately and not knowing what to do, I just followed my mum's instructions.
I was feeling scared at the same time but I hurried to take my bath as we will be going over to my uncle's house which will be the location of the arrival of my dear grandfather's body from the hospital.
I was taking bath, and I don't know whether it was my imagination or was it real
I saw a pair of black leather shoes standing outside my bathroom.
It was impossible, as Daddy is the only one wearing that shoe and he is still at work and he is on his way home.
Mummy was outside in the garden keeping the clothes from my line while brother was watching TV (he was a very young kid)

I stopped in shock and turned away, splashing water on myself and in a blink of an eye, the shoes disappeared and I heard my mummy in the kitchen.
Thinking back, it may be spooky but I somehow felt that probably grandpa was indeed home to say his final goodbye to me, his eldest granddaughter; probably the only one who truly understood things at that time.

It was really sad, and everyone cried during his funeral.
The last hymn we sang before sending him out to the cemetery was exactly that Bread of Life

I am the Bread of Life,
He Who Comes to me shall not Hunger
He Who believes shall not thirst
No one can come to me
Unless the Father drew him

Chorus: And I will raise him up
And I will raise him up
And I will raise him up
On the Last Day

It was truly the most memorable song to me, and the touching tune and lyrics of the hymn also reminded how heavy-hearted I was to accept the fact that my grandfather won't ever be there to smile and nod his head when I visit him.
That was when I broke down in the church; and I did not feel alone as most of the ladies around me had already been crying. I am easily moved to tears whenever I see people around me cry, but this time, the thought of my beloved grandparents and the memorable tune contributed to the tears.

I still miss them dearly (grandma has also gone to join him about 7 years ago) but I am looking back at the wonderful memories I had of them during my childhood and I know they truly loved me as their granddaughter and had always been proud of my achievements.
I have graduated, grandma and grandpa and I've found great career, thanks to your blessing and guidance. Although you can't be here to see this day or celebrate with me, I know that you are watching me from a much better place.

I have lived on, and I want to make you even more proud of me as I continuously strive for the higher levels of successes.

Grieving is inevitable as we come to terms with their death, but living on for ourselves and for their sake is much more important.
Just as Mariah Carey's touching Bye Bye, we should not look at them being gone as we know they are still up there with God; probably they are even saints already!:)

Live on; just as what Jack told Rose in Titanic - 'My Heart will Go on, you must live on'

Grieve if you must, but you still have your own life looking ahead of you.
And instead of worrying about your death, just make the best out of it and live everyday like it's going to be your last.
Most importantly, Live your Life to the fullest!!

Quarter of a Centurian

November is yet another month where I seem to have uncountable friends who chose to come to the world at this time of the year.
I have been sending text messages through my phone (God bless the bill I receive for this month!!)

And thank God for Facebook, where I could also send text messages (for free!! Of course, if you were to do the costing, that would include the electricity bill needed to run the laptop, the Streamyx fees, telephone bill, etc but those are not so 'tangible costs', at least not to me;)

Happy Birthday to everyone, Scorpions or Sagittarians...I wish you a great November birthday and for myself, a great month to burn that hole in a pocket:p

Ignore those remarks, I still treasure all my beloved friends and family members and also relatives born in this month (the list started since 3rd November until today) and the first 2 days in November were marked by the holy All Saints Day and All Souls Day respectively!

Well, as I wish an old good friend today, he made a very interesting remark...
'Thanks and we have made it to the quarter of a centurian'

Hahaha....now that's something to ponder about....it's something to be proud of, right?:)

Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween - a hallow or a whine?

After a busy and long week with non-stop meetings and work stuffs, it was really a relief to see that it's finally my favorite day of the week; Fly-day or Free-day!
Coincidentally, it was also Halloween, so a Happy Halloween to all of you out there.

Not that this is such a celebrated festive season here in my country; but somehow this year, there was such a merry atmosphere reminding us of the arrival of this westernized festival that I couldn't help wishing people around me a Happy Halloween either.

Just when I was getting ready to get off work and going home to a nice dinner for a mini-celebration (just to join in the fun and to find a reason to celebrate), I had a rather unfortunate incident again.
I know, NOT AGAIN, you say, after hearing my sob story about my last Friday episode; which coincidentally also happened after work.
I am starting to wonder whether my Fridays are jinxed!

I don't know how to begin; and I don't really want to talk about it either, but rest assured it has nothing to do with work.
It is something belonging to me and it has caused a rather deep injury to my heart and herself.
Yeah, it's a her - most of my things are her anyway.

The worst part is, I am supposed to be really upset to the extent that I will cry out but this time, surprisingly, I am calm and collected.
I just took it calmly and thought of resolution methods or whatever I can do and even people who are close to me are surprised by the different me.

Halloween, and something like this had to happen...on a Friday again.
I really love Fridays; or used to love Fridays!
It's not even Friday the 13th but 2 Fridays in a row, and 2 different hurtful incidents.
I am now freaked out and crossing my fingers (and uncrossing) in anxiety in anticipation of what will be next although I see no point in being so negative (YET).

Never mind, looking forward to a great weekend, and no prize for guessing what is the object of my depressing Friday...no, no guesses please.

Happy Hallow-whine for me!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Filial Piety - Must or Trust?

I can't remember the last movie which made me cry or even cried so much.
I was in for the unexpected when I watched Money No Enough 2 a few weeks ago, which was perceived as a comedy or a humorous movie and boy, was I wrong.

I am not going to write a review on the movie, no, that will be in my movie blog which still has a list of movies/series in the list to be reviewed.
This is rather more like a story which I want to tell and also, pen in my thoughts and words along the way. For those of you who have not seen the movie, my summarized story would be able to help you see what I am talking about.

I would like to highlight the key elements which I observed in the movie and also the relationship to our own lives.

The three brothers in the movie were all married with their own families and it was pretty normal yet heart-warming when you see that they have not forgotten their good old mother as they flock home to have dinner with her on weekends.
The eldest son was the main caretaker of the aging lady and was also one of lower income earning son compared to his two younger brothers.
Both younger brothers run their own businesses and live in luxurious houses.

When the mother was diagnosed with illness, a degenerating and degradation of her normal form with age (which could probably be Alzheimer's), that is where the roles and filial piety of the 3 sons are put to the test.
During the discussion among the 3 brothers, it was rather realistic when you watch them start off with a low-key discussion to rotate their rounds in caring for the mother and then ended up in loud bickering.
At the same time, they were trying to avoid being heard by their mother who was sitting alone watching television.
The wives chipped in once in a while to argue the rights of responsibilities and they assumed that the old lady was unknowing.
It was really disheartening when the old lady, with her burdening illness, had to pack and go about with a bag every 2-3 days to shift from one son's house to another and you can see she had to go on her own without anyone bothering to pick her up or escort her.
The worse was the type of welcome she received especially in the second son's house, who also happened to be the richest of all(although he had failed in his business that time and had to put up in a HDB flat).
Perhaps it is not right to judge him as that, as his wife was controlling the situation but then, as a son and a righteous man, he ought to stand up for his own mother if he wants to.

Letting the mother sleep near the washing area and right outside the toilet was rather heart-wrenching and disturbing.
I couldn't help those tears when I saw the frail and aged old lady making herself comfortable in the area.
Soon after, when the mother's condition worsens, they decided to argue about sending the mother to the old folks' home as none of them could afford to spend their time with the old mother, claiming that they had their work responsibilities, etc.
The eldest brother was appointed to be the escort to send the mother to the old folks' home and it was really disheartening to watch how the poor old mother was unsuspecting and when she start to realize, the son ran away while she cried for help and refused to go into the home.

When she fainted and was admitted into the hospital after the drama, the eldest brother yelled and blamed his two brothers for what befell the mother.
While the mother fell into coma, the brothers were forced into another dilemma on whether they should end their mother's life as they could not afford the medical fees of her prolonged stay in the hospital.
The eldest brother was dead against the ending of the mother's and wanted to continue to bear the exorbitant prices of the mother's hospital stay.
He continuously blamed his younger siblings for their materialistic ways which landed their only mother in this place.
Initially, the brothers came to the consensus to let it be, but soon, they had to confront the truth that their mother's condition is not getting any better but worse and something had to be done.

The costs of her stay in the private hospital was too much to bear; especially when all 3 brothers have come to terms with their financial crisis after the failure of their respective businesses and career paths.
The mother had to survive on the blood bags which kept her alive, and since her blood type is rather rare, the hospital would soon run out of it.
It was really a pain to see the sons arguing among themselves who should donate blood to their mother.
And when Stella, the 2nd brother's only daughter was involved in a serious car accident on the same night the mother was to have a blood transfusion, it was a huge dilemma when they came to decide who should have the remaining blood.
The 2nd brother was fighting hard with his other two brothers who refused to budge and insisted that the blood is to be reserved for their poor old mother while the frantic second brother and father, had no choice but to snatch the blood bag with his wife to be donated to their daughter who was in a critical condition.

At the point, their sick mother woke up and with tears upon hearing them fight over the blood, she drastically pulled the tube of her main support to end her life immediately.

I must have cried buckets when I watched this movie and I found that the whole notion of this movie was far from being funny; in fact it had a very thought pondering value which is put to question when it comes to different situations.

I've had conversed with my parents and even they said that it was truly a hard decision when it comes to deciding between your mother and daughter on whose life to save in this kind of situation.
At the same time, the taking care of the mother part; especially when she is dependent should not be judged based on how filial the children are as everyone has their own difficulty and story to tell.
However, my dad is right though about one thing and this is something that I always quote him as saying, "A single parent can bring up 10 children; but 10 children can never take care of 1 single parent"

So harsh but yet so true.
Look at the whole story; how much has the mother sacrificed for her own sons
When they were in financial difficulties and they went to their mother asking for help, she selflessly digged out her own savings from an old biscuits tin; knowing that it's her only financial source left and gave them to her.
She was even still worried about whether her savings are enough to help her sons in solving their crises.
Yet when the mother is sick, the sons had to wonder whether it's worth their time to take care of the old lady.

How accurately it relates to the younger generation these days too!
When we are kids, whenever we see something we want badly, we tell Daddy or Mummy about it and they will just nod their head and fish in their pocket for those notes that sent the gleam in our eyes when we know we can have the book/toy we wanted so much. Yet when they are old and depend on us to support them financially, whenever we give them their monthly allowances, we always remind them to use it wisely or sparingly as we are 'running tight for the month'
How superficial!
Remember my daddy's quote?
In those olden days, even in financial crisis, the father will always be the sole breadwinner and still struggles to make ends meet.
(Of course, there are also stories about how some couldn't make it and end up having to give away their own flesh and blood to wealthy families to ensure their better upbringing)

Think about it?
How many times have people these days turned away from their parents and not return the deeds of their parents; the people who have brought them into the world and made them in who they are today?
Are you a President, CEO, doctor, lawyer, teacher, engineer, etc because you are born to be one?
Without the funded education, will you still be one today?

To all the parents who have done their job in spending time with their children during their childhood and growing years, CONGRATULATIONS, you're definitely the pride and you are great people!

To be fair, there are also some parents today (sadly) who chose careers and monetary factors over their own children. These are the people who can't complain when their children ill-treat them in the future.
I have heard of a case whereby the son sent the mother to the old folks' home and when she sobbed her heart out over her son's responsibilities in caring for her in her old days, her son just looked at her and said, "You haven't cared for me when I was a kid either. You sent me to the babysitters' and Day Care centers. So I am just doing the same thing you have done to me"

How sad but true!

I believe that it all starts from trust; this is definitely not a question of compulsory actions which you must do and how you will be penalized if you were to ignore what you intend to do.
However, those are only the 1% as I believe all parents are great and care a great deal for their children; wanting only the best for their children.
But ask yourselves this, do you really think the same way about your parents?

When you have your own families, are your parents a big deal to you anymore?
If you say yes, answer the following questions frankly; with full honesty from the bottom of your heart:
1. Are you willing to fork out a few thousand or thousands for your parents? (be it medical or life support, etc)
2. If your parents happen to be sick; as in a really serious condition whereby they need full attention (for instance, their bowels and motion sicknesses which cannot be controlled) and you need to be there to clean up for them, will you do it without grumbling?
3. If you find that you have a packet of blood left, and your wife/kid and your parent(mother or father) need it at the same time; in the same critical condition, will you find yourself giving the blood (without hesitation or second thought) to your parent?

These are all heart-wrenching questions and yet, they are as far as they go in reality.
I am not questioning anyone's will to be a filial son or daughter, but there are lots of subjective and gray areas which are equally realistic as well.

But I still do agree with my good ol' Daddy's words, "A parent can take care of 10 kids, but 10 kids can never take care of 1 parent"

It's all about your conscience and the trust from your parents when it comes to taking care of them.
I bet they never wanted to bring trouble to us when they grow old; who doesn't like the idea of aging gracefully?

Just listen to your conscience and I hope we do not have anymore of bitter cases.
Another recommendation; Money No Enough 2 is definitely worth a watch....it brought back great memories and values to my mind and heart.
And I want to be a great daughter to both my parents....

I think that the movie will be even more touching if they included scenes of how the mother brought them up and the hardship she went through during their childhood.

Thank you Daddy and Mummy, for your hard work, I am sure it was not easy and thank you for all the times you have stood by me and doubted me.
I will never forget and I pray to the great Lord Almighty for the peace and wonderful family relationship we have and will always have!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Bad Day

This is a song, by Daniel Powter which was pretty much a hit last year.
Funnily though, I just didn't like it when the radio played it; especially early in the morning when it's the start of a bright new day.
It's pretty much an unquestionable quirk of mine; and I am not saying that I will be a better DJ but I know enough to know the songs to avoid especially bright in the morning.
Not that I have anything against the song, nor Daniel who has boasted a pretty decent career, not to mention a memorable record of the songs made into hits.

I just couldn't accept the notion of being negative early in the morning; being sung to Bad Day seems like a curse or a bad omen being said unto you when you are getting ready to enjoy the day.
To me, it was a love and hate kind of song when I listen to it.

However, yesterday, this song came to my mind when I was about to get off work; let's say, a pretty good day with a bad end.
I've always loved Fridays, as most of you know.
In fact, I adore Fridays and I almost built an altar to worship Fridays (no, that was a joke, no offense meant to the great Lord who created and loved me)

I always feel extra chirpy and full of spirit on Fridays; since I was a little girl.
Back then, probably due to the fact that I am happy my Daddy won't be working during the weekends and we get to go out together in a family.
That being said, I am also a cheerful girl when it comes to everyday, but on Fridays and Saturdays, I am EXTRA EXTRA cheerful, get the note?
(just tune the extra a few notches higher than what I stressed)

Yesterday was no different, and I was enthusiastic and working my hardest.
Even when my boss called to get me to complete some records for performance review and stuffs like that, I did panic a little and got myself mixed up with the things I am supposed to do.
Well, that cleared up soon enough and when I was making my last visit of the day, I left the office feeling excited at the prospect of having a great long weekend once again, one of the rare happiness when you start working.
However, October was not too bad as we've had 2 public holidays and we enjoyed the teeny weeny bit of enjoying long weekends without dragging ourselves to work.
Furthermore, the weather has played her part in her shine and rain days.

I was enjoying a great chat with my colleague cum team assistant and we were wishing each other a Happy Weekend when we walked ourselves to the carpark.
As soon as I got into my car, my cell phone rang.

I looked at the number and noticed that it was from my customer, the one who called earlier regarding his issue.
I pondered for a while and I decided to answer; despite it being after my work hours.

I spoke to his secretary who was really sweet and when it came to the point that I mentioned I need to wait until Tuesday to contact my KL team who could help in the technical and commercial aspects, that's where her boss decided to have a word with me.

Now, having a word is an understatement.
Believe it or not, I was put through hell when I had to listen to his incessant complaints about his thoughts about my company and our service.
I tried to be my best as possible; because the customer is always right.
I didn't once flinch nor raise a tone, and I listened, inserting a word or two to cool him down.
Guess what, in the end, I was not even allowed a word when he kept hammering at how bad everything was.
If you're talking about negativity in a person, this was all it.
Although he mentioned that "I understand it's not your fault", but all his statements stated otherwise and soon, I became a victim of his frustrations.
I had already revved up my car engine and there I sat in my car, listening to his complaints and rants
It was a good half an hour conversation; or should I say a session of reprimanding.

I sat there, feeling like an idiot and wondering what the hell am I doing there, spoiling my Friday.
I was speechless, which was rather rare, when I had been participating in debates and never gave others a chance to pounce on me.
I had to listen, I had no choice; and yet, this man did not seem to even want to give me a chance to talk.
So, I decided to best keep my mouth shut and listen, going mmmm, ahhh, yes sirs, etc.
Those who know me, will think this is very rare that I do not put up against an argument when I am not in the wrong.
Or perhaps, I am in the wrong as he put it.

When it finally ended, I didn't know whether to feel relieved or cross (which surprisingly, I didn't feel angry)
It just made me wonder, are we really subjects of frustration in times like this when we serve some Chinamen company?
Do not get me wrong, I do not have anything against China people nor Chinese men owning companies but boy, the attitude was really shocking.

I am not saying that I do not empathize with him; as I truly, fully understand his situation (which is why I sat through numb and dumb to listen to his rants)
But the very least, give me a break, I am trying my best and hate as I to admit it, it is rather not gentlemanly of him to speak his frustrations non-stop (like an M16 or even a Bazooka going at me, exaggeration or not)

I am still after all, a lady, and no, equal rights do not come into this because as a gentleman, you should be wary of your own actions.
I really hated it when I felt depressed by the incident and ashamed that I was near tears when I listened to him patiently.
No, I didn't even think of putting the receiver away from me while he goes on and on

It was just rather disturbing but he finally decided that it was enough and told me that he'd wait until Tuesday and reminded me that he didn't have a choice.
Though I was already demeaned by him by all his saying, and instead of calling him a J.A, I actually still took in all in stride and took the liberty of choice to call up my colleagues for help and ended up putting myself down by calling for their help after office hours on a Friday evening!
I know they must be really pissed but I had no choice either.
Thank God, I am really thankful for such understanding colleagues who asked no question at all when I asked for their advice and the next course of action.
After going through the phone call, I understand how my colleagues must be thinking when I called and caught them in work-related chat which they definitely do not appreciate after work and what on earth was I thinking.

I still do feel stupid calling them but I am deeply grateful for their positive responses and their will to help me.

I feel ashamed and really stupid being bogged and bugged by the situation and let it affect me when I've told myself that I will never allow that to happen.
In fact, I have to apologize to the friend whom I've let down for a Friday night dinner, I owe you one dude, and I will make it up.

I didn't want to talk about it, because I don't want to sound like some cry baby who couldn't handle a little bit of pressure.
I want to be strong, but at the same time, do allow me to mellow a little like a baby girl.
It does take time...

But, you know what, Daniel Powter is right after all....I've had a bad day
Taken one down
Just to Turn it around....

Sighs, that's what work is about right, I can't expect to sit on rainbows all the time

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Varied comparisons

People are getting absurd these days, I tell you.
I was just hearing from one blogger how people have been comparing all sorts of things; even sicknesses.
Gone are those days when people just ask "How are you?" out of pure concern.
Today, mention you're sick in bed and they will go telling you how sick they were previously too..
It's like trying to outbid each other in their level of sicknesses.
How sick!

Oh, it does not stop there, ever heard of competing on the books you read and the expiry of the books?
Yeah, let me tell you.

People will tell you all about the new book they're reading and then, they will add to that, "Oh by the way, it is the latest release by this author, and it happens to be on the bestseller's list"

If you mention you're reading something else, they will just look at you with a really surprised look, "Isn't that an old book?"

*Clears throat*
Since when do books have expiry written over them?
I can still read Enid Blyton or Charlotte Bronte or even Shakespeare as I please and not feel bothered by people who try to intimidate me with their 'bestsellers'

I love reading and I've been an avid reader since young, and I for one, will not be ashamed if I do not happen to be reading a recent book where everyone goes ga-ga about.
I will read at my own will and interest, thank you very much

Gone are those days when people are happy just comparing their features, complexion, bra sizes, weight, height and body measurements

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

I have (HAD) a dream~~

The night before yesterday, I had a really cool dream.

I dreamt about my car alarm going off (I told you, my car alarm has driven my crazy, and I still hear them even after 2 weeks of installing the new alarm which cost me a bomb)
It wasn't pleasant, even when it was in the dream!

However, I saw Daddy in my dream and he was standing there while I foolishly re-enacted the entire sequence of triggering the alarm.
It went off alright and it was like crazy, and then, Daddy just folded his arms and told me,

"Just change your car...it's seriously cracked"

I was like staring at him and I went, "You're serious, Daddy?"

Daddy nodded and continued affirming, "I don't see why not, this car is already crazy anyway"

Awesome, it was such a cool dream...and I jumped for joy, shouting in excitement and I couldn't stop laughing, starting to picture which car I would like as my new car.
It was like a dream too good to be true...

And yes it is, when Daddy said, "And... you're old enough to pay for your own car"

I stopped...it is a DREAM...and it's been too good to be true..

Who told you all dreams were good anyway?
I am happy with my own car now...
Stop dreaming.....

Monday, October 06, 2008

Wear a Purple Ribbon!~

It was Catechetical Sunday yesterday.
Don't mind the long word, it is basically the foundation of our Catholic knowledge and there was even a blessing to all the great people who have voluntarily taken on the challenge to knock some Bible knowledge and the root of the the Catholic faith into us and a bunch of rowdy kids who will grow up someday to be the leaders of the nation.

When I walked into the church, I was greeted by a chirpy young lady who gave me a nice little bookmark (hey, that's really sweet, I almost forgot that I love collecting bookmarks!~ I actually have different bookmarks for different books; sometimes I go by their genre...yeah, my bookmarks are categorized:)
Hosted by RockYouPhotos.com
Hosted by RockYouPhotos.com

Really nice and good quality paper...and it has a little ribbon attached to it!
I love ribbons, I really do...I always love tying my hair with a ribbon which matches my dress
Hosted by RockYouPhotos.com

At the same time, there was this particular part on the church supporting the abolishment of ISA and calling for the purple ribbon to be worn to show support for the event.

The color purple is always a symbolic color which is donned during Lent and Advent season.
Too bad I do not have my ribbon with me now...

Hosted by RockYouPhotos.com

Hosted by RockYouPhotos.com

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Ants on my Toothpaste!

Just the other day I was reading Ju's blog on how she found ants in her water and I commented that I haven't had that problem for some time.

How Lucky of me....

I believe I spoke too soon....

I didn't have problem with the ants swimming in my drinking water (thank God) but they're on my toothpaste.
No mistake, they were all surrounding the cap of my Colgate toothpaste tube and some were also suspiciously loitering near my toothbrush.

I wonder what on earth is so interesting about Colgate...and what is their sugar content?
If they are attracting ants, they're definitely sweet, right? (I don't think ants brush their teeth)

And if there is sugar in Colgate (which probably is), what is the level? It should be pretty high to be able to attract those ants right
**Mind you, those ants are of those black and red type, small ants.....and they're annoying!!! **

So, can someone tell me whether Colgate is still safe for those diabetics out there?
And anyone else having this same problem?
Any suggestion?

P.S.: I've cleaned and wiped the cap and have shifted the location to another shelf nearer to the shower pipe and there's lesser but the ants still found their way there....please help!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Raya Break has ended--

I can't believe that a week has just flew past me like that!
Raya Break is over and today is already a Sunday...erm, it's already in the afternoon now!

What have I been doing the whole week???!!
I thought my break just started...
I mean, I barely felt that there was a break...
Not that I had the illusion that this day will never come, but it's really hard to accept the reality when it has really arrived.

I can't believe....I want a rewind!

And the sun is scorching hot out there, how good does it help to get me back on track to face the reality that tomorrow is a working day?
And it has to be a Monday....don't we all 'LOVE' Mondays!

I wonder whether it is a sin to have some thoughts of enjoying holiday and dread work...
Well, I gotta snap out of it and get my Little Chicken Spirit back....to face a brand new day tomorrow!!!

Ermmmm....can we have the rain back? Just a short one and with some clouds to shade the sun will be ideal:)


If only I have Adam Sandler's remote control.....

Thursday, October 02, 2008

What are Fishballs?

Kids say the darndest things....they do

Kid: What are fishballs?
Kid: Oh, they are the eggs of the fish?
Adult: Nooooo, they are made of fish meat
Kid: Then why are they round like eggs?
Adult: Because you roll the fish meat to make it round like a ball
Kid: Uh uh....so means the eggs are the meat of chicken which you roll them?


Wednesday, October 01, 2008

What to do during this holiday break?

It's exciting when you get a long break, isn't it?
It's a great break from work or study or whatever you're busy with...
It's just such bliss to wake up and realize, "Hey, I don't have a pre-defined schedule and I don't 'NEED' to do this and that!"
(Even if you're the world's hardworking and disciplined person, you will bound to think like this - yours truly is also one who always believe in discipline and never do anything illegal and even I am tempted by the idea of holidays:)

The whole concept of not being told what to do or to be bound by obligations which made up part of their routine each day.
Yes, the key word is also routine.....you get bored of doing the same thing 7 days a week, 365 days a year or practically having it around 24/7 - pretty much I am referring to those who are serious workaholics (if you haven't realized, you do need help!)
Bored of routine...and a short break is always an answer....break; whether it's short or a long break...a break is definitely good.

Funny thing is, a lot of things will be going on your mind when you're busy working/studying/etc....you start to plan what you want to do when you get your vacation or if you are allowed at least a day off from your routine.
Don't we do that all the time?
(And you wonder why we have so many daydreamers in the classes/lectures/tuitions/offices...and hey, I'm not one of them, okay?)

Now you get your chance, a break... not one day but for a few days....and you end up asking yourself, "What was it that I want to do again?"
Unless you've made plans with a group of friends or you've booked your plane tickets with Air Asia or MAS cheap flights which will definitely motivate you to get your you-know-where to go off for your vacation, you may be left at home...thinking that I might want to clean up my room, but then there is that good movie on the TV/Astro that I haven't seen in a while and off you go, distracted!
You told yourself that you wanted to get this and that when you get off work and spend some time at retail therapy, because you do want to get those stuffs....and end up, when you have the leisure to do so, you just want to laze and relax at home, probably update your blogs or clean up your room (please refer to the above again)
Then you also tell yourself 'Hey, Economy's not doing good....US stock market crashed, I should save up for the rainy days' and you end up locking yourself up at home, refusing to go to the malls for fear of falling to temptation (you could end up buying something...and there goes your plan of reducing your credit limit for the month).

Are you as I've described?
You do not know what to do all of a sudden and you felt like work is not such a bad idea after all.....at least you know you wake up on time and you dress up nicely and you look forward to making yourself useful....even though it is for the sake of some extra moolah...which you do need to save for those rainy days (and when a new shoe comes on the rack, there goes the rain)

And when it comes to the end of your break and you have to go to work, you start to dread and wonder why didn't you fully utilize your short break..
Man, aren't we a confused bunch?
Ungrateful and never-content beings on earth...

This round we get a great round of long break; at least for some of us anyway....who took a few days of leave earlier...:D
And what do we do?
Hmmmmm....a few suggestions.....in case you're running out of idea

1. Don't try cleaning up your room, because you will end up watching the TV anyway. So, focus on watching a movie, and get yourself out to the cinema!

2. If you're thinking of re-furnish your room, ermmmm, please refer to no.1

3. Find a place to go....the mall, the cinema, makan-makan trip with friends, or a short trip to somewhere....as long as it's not inside your room/house.

4. Oh, I must mention, please gather some friends to do it with you....because somehow someway, at least one fella will always have that hyperactive drive to excite everyone with a holiday plan....or something fun....

5. No video games or computer games please....or you may end up regretting you missed your break.....stay away from anything which remotely resembles an icon of technology

6. Get some DVDs....hey, at least you are out of the house for a while, right??

7. If you're thinking of going to the bank/post office/PTPTN office/gov office.....hey, remember it's a holiday and they're probably closed anyway. Besides, why do you want to waste your leave on them?
Servicing your car may be a great way of enjoying your break...those few hours you spend waiting for your car will make you wonder what the h*** are you doing there anyway!

8. Get a few friends to go for some karaoke session, or if it's too expensive, ermmmm.....set up some songs on your radio/hi-fi/TV and sing along....
Scream to annoy your parents or neighbors....having the cops knocking on your door may be something memorable...
(I know I said stay away from technology....that's why I said Scream yourselves silly because you'll never be a rock star standing on the stage of the MTV awards anyway)

9. Take out that camera and start snapping pics of everything.....try to figure out why you still take lousy pics after so many attempts...and tell yourself that you will impress the other bloggers around with your great skills....(after you learnt how to use/operate the camera without using the manual anyway)
Enjoy photographing....and then upload...and start realizing what it's like last time when we don't have internet

10. Start blogging and updating your blog....or just start to wonder what you're doing in front of the computer on a holiday and thinking of the word Loser
Or you can think of 10 things to do during the holiday and type them in your blog...

I KNOW I KNOW...I mentioned stay away from the notion of technology, but hey, I am an IT gal okay, it's hard to take the word tech away from my life....and anyway, if you're reading this, you're probably a tech person...otherwise, why on earth are you sitting in front of your computer?

And get a life, get away from your computer and TV okay.....it's a Holiday...for Goodness sake.....
Get that camera, that CD/DVD....and have fun....

And forget I mention that we shouldn't touch anything to do with technology....

I am going to ENJOY my break now.....so should you!!
HAPPY Holidays to all of you!!

And Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri :D

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Rain OH RAIN!~

This is yet another post on the rain...ain't the rain becoming a celebrity on my blog?
Hosted by RockYouPhotos.com

I LOVE the rain....even though people tell me it's depressing
I still love it...I always find it so...'dreary and romantic' (quoted from my American friend, Anne)

Yeah, the rain's lovely...and it makes me happy.
They say that rain makes people depressed and the leading reason for the high number of suicide cases in states of Seattle and Portland in the US.
It's due to the cloudy weather and the constant need to stay indoors, as I say, it's highly psychological when people feel depressed and on the verge of suicide.

Back to the story, it has been raining CATS and DOGS in Penang - constant downpour since Sunday and it was like non-stop until yesterday (that's a total of 3 days~)
In fact, it rained so much that people were starting to worry about floods and also the possible sinking of the Pearl of the Orient.
Hosted by RockYouPhotos.com
Yeah, no joke...if you're going to smirk at that statement, Penang is after all, an island, ain't it?
And the rain didn't show any signs of stopping and that led to the flooding of several places on the island.
People are getting anxious, nervous, worried, frustrated, whatever negative feelings they can possibly have at the sight of big puddles of water everywhere and also the non-stop raindrops falling on their head...I don't think 'Raindrops keep falling on my head' is exactly their favorite song at the moment.
Imagine having to get up to work on a wonderfully rainy day when everyone are snuggling nicely into their blankets and hugging their pillows/bolsters to get more sleep while enjoying the loud tip tap sound of the rain on your roofs and windows!~
Ahhhhhhh....such bliss...

Funny though....the southern side is really sunny...and the clouds seemed to have stopped on this part of the hemisphere and they are definitely not leaving
Hosted by RockYouPhotos.com
Hosted by RockYouPhotos.com
But I still love the rain....haha, maybe coz I am on leave this week and I can choose to hug my pillows and bolster while enjoying the rain
Although I do go out too and it's pretty messy coz I have to face the possibility of getting wet, I still love the rain...

Anyway, the rain did stop in the evening yesterday and I was a little disappointed (although I do feel guilty coz there are people suffering from the heavy downpour)
The rain turned out to fall again in the middle of the night and it rained all the way until this morning and it just stopped.
I am predicting that the rain will continue this cycle every night...which I'm looking forward to.

I know people don't really like the rain that much and that it's depressing
Boy, I don't like to go to work that often either when it's raining this heavily...
Remember the possibility of the overflowing of this monsoon drain that I need to constantly be on the lookout for...for the fear of the flooding of the carpark..
Hosted by RockYouPhotos.com

But still, the rain's lovely..
I want to get my pillow, bolster and blanket....
today's not a working day anyway...hehehe...

Did I mention I was on leave?
Did I also mention that I loved the rain?....
So...please continue to rain...

Did I mention I love the rain?:)