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Wednesday, March 01, 2006


Hey LaydieBug, I read your post on the relationships (please check the comment I left for you as well) and I must say I kinda agree with you :)

Hmmm....why does everyone view relationships, and in this context I mean boy and girl relationships(like, DUH!)...those lovey dovey kinda thing as such an important agenda in their lives? Especially if you are single at a particular age....sigh!!

For girls, if you reach the so-called legal age of 20 and still single? Man, you will be agonized by the continuous rants of people around you; questions such as "Got bf ar?", "Don't be too picky", "Want me to introduce some guys to you?", "Have you tried going out on dates?", bla bla bla....endless list of rants on the direction of your life. SIGH.....is there nothing else in this world besides getting yourself into relationships?

Now, it's not that I am against relationships or anything but is there such an urgent need to be involved with another person? Well, you know what they say about being alone when you grow old and the need of a companion. I am not disagreeing as there is indeed some truth in it; that's why God did not only create Adam alone :) Religion aside, there's always interaction everywhere, in our lives, even animals and plants interact so that is why we see people getting together.

Due to this culture, most of the parents and relatives are usually concerned when their offsprings are still single at a certain point of age and the anxiety sets in when they actually start getting into the matchmaking mode. First, they will tease you about it; then they will ASK you about it with some suggestive notions of getting you involved in their known circle of eligible bachelors or spinsters, then they will arrange for those "accidental" meetings and that's when you start to retaliate..haha :) Procedural, huh?

Conservative as it sounds, this is still practised until today. Mind you, if you look back into the trend in the olden days; people then have never met each other(especially in China, their daughters are not even allowed to step outside the house compound). The parents will be the ones scouting around and then doing the "interviewing" bit and then poof, the marriage is set. Illlogical that you do not have the freedom to choose your own spouse? Today, you get to go out with people you like, spend time with each other then wedding bells ring for both of you, more liberal? Now then, take a moment to ponder on this, why are the divorce rates today much higher than before? Didn't you love the person and didn't you have the freedom to know the person well enough before you marry him/her?

There are lots of different explanations, such as boredom of being with the same person for so long, fading of the romance, bla bla bla. Sometimes, I believe they are also rushed into the marriage; during the sensuous and peak of their romance with each other, they decided to get married. Question is, how well do they know each other? Are they really ready to be committed to each other for life? This is more towards lust and not love, as they claimed. In the olden days, they do not know each other, so once they are married, they have a lifetime to get to know each other although practically they do not have a choice. The guys can still opt for concubines if they are not happy with their spouses but the poor ladies are there to endure the misery for life.

So, in short, take your time, you do not have to go looking for love, love will find you and you will gradually be in it; that's why it's called falling in love. It relies on destiny and fate, although sometimes you need to make some moves when you see the opportunity. Also, be sure before you commit to a relationship, otherwise, you will not only hurt the other person but yourself as well.
I think even in Malaysia, we have seen some people getting married/falling in love at the age of 80(last year's news)...so this goes to show that age is also not a deterring factor when love comes; it just hits you hard :)
So, why rush....hehe...take your own sweet time, if it was meant to be, it is meant to be; otherwise, no point hanging on to it ;)

"Love is patient and enduring, love is never jealous ...." - Quoted from one of my favourite movies, A Walk to Remember