Heard this term being uttered by someone in the office yesterday and I was a little shocked to hear it; not that this is the first time I heard it - a pretty common Chinese term to describe a couple who has committed adultery or any shocking sexual scandal.
The reason why it spurned my shock was also due to the harshness of the sound the word being used.
"Gou Nan Nu"(in Mandarin) or "Kao Lam Lui"(in Cantonese) - it does sound so harsh and really demoralizing in picturing the extent the couple described has gone to and the level of disgust it has triggered among the people.
Having said that, I still find this word inappropriate to be used to judge or evaluate any person; regardless of whether they were found guilty of adultery or not.
Why do I say that, you may ask....
Well, my first question is are we really worthy of our behaviours to pass judgement on others? Dare we say we are indeed "clean" and not guilty of anything at the same time?
Don't tell me you have never done anything wrong or excuses that I do not commit adultery.
Whether you admit it or not, each and everyone of us commits sins everyday...and I am not referring to only a singular noun for sin; in fact, we are sinners everyday.....
Shaking your head vigorously in disagreement? Well....what about those little white lies you tell your friend when you have other plans instead of joining them on their little outing?
What about their feigned sickness you had when you were too lazy to get out of your bed to get to work on a rainy day?
What about the evil thought that crosses your mind now and then when you envy someone else who looks better than you?
What about those remarks you made/agreed to when someone else criticizes another?
What about those times where you were in the gossip and you did nothing to defend the person being speculated? You may not be the one gossiping; but yet at the same time, you did nothing to defend the person's honor.
Look at the big picture; we do little things which are not right every single day in our lives - whether in thoughts or in actions.
And yes, even your thoughts count:)
We thought that our little demeanour are not seen nor visible to others and that we are "clean" but behold, there lies a greater power beyond who sees and knows every single thing we think, do and say.
Thus, do we dare say that we clean again?
Back to the topic of addressing a couple as dog-lovers which practically (in despicable language) refers to a couple of shameless adulterer and adultress.
In this age of the century, I find this a little shallow to use these terms....of course I am not sure who they are referring to but whoever it is, I pity the ears these fall unto or the intended target of the term.
I was pondering on what could 2 people have done to deserve this term...and I concluded that no one should have the right to say that of others.
Adultery? How do you define adultery?
In common terms, we do know that adultery is a wrong sexual relationship between a man and a woman under the following circumstances:
1. Either party is married and this is beyond the knowledge of the lawful spouse
2. In the olden days, both parties are unmarried and this is considered out of wedlock - now it is pretty common, even among our young teenagers.
Keeping this in view, to me, both situations make no difference. Perhaps everyone will regard the first case as rightfully to be criticized.
Perhaps so, since they are hurting another party...BUT (yes, there's always a but), how do we know their story? Perhaps they were the ones belonging to each other and they were forced to marry their spouses? Or any intertwining story within that may not be available to public?
Yeah...I know, it is not easy to accept a cheating spouse...it's always easier said than done especially when you are not the person facing the situation.
However, I still believe in the different perspectives and aspects to view a situation. You never know what you may see from the situation and try to put yourself in the shoes of the person.
Trust me, it doesn't feel good at all....
My point is; everything happens for a reason....whether it is wrong or right...furthermore, there is no wrong or right...it is all a matter of perspective.
My advice to those people out there, do be more sensible and considerate in passing out judgmental remarks. You may have the freedom of speech; but do think of the impact on the people on whom these remarks befall upon and try picturing yourselves in the situation.
I am still disgusted by this piece of comment which came out of someone whom I would have known better to have the basic common sense of a human being to say things like that in public.
Have you really seen those two committing adultery/ caught in the act?
Are you really sure they are adulterers/adulteresses??
Furthermore, I believe these may be baseless statements to begin with and is just another ostracizing effort to ruin others whom they dislike.
Judgmental people are really shallow and to me, plain despicable.....
"For those who believe they have not sinned in their lifetime, take a step forward and cast the first stone..." - Jesus Christ in the stoning of a woman accused of adultery at the stake.
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