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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Career and Love

I reached home yesterday to find my housemate cooking in the kitchen; and I mean as in frying vegetables and eggs kind of cooking..
There was a whiff of the fragrant cooking which filled the whole house and even the staircase before I reached the front door.

She probably heard me at the door, and when I walked past the kitchen, her head popped out from behind the kitchen doors (those sliding ones which she closed behind her to prevent the smoke from infiltrating the whole house)
She smiled at me, and asked in a friendly voice, "Have you eaten yet?"

I smiled back and mumbled, "Oh ya..."

She looked slightly disappointed and told me, "I've just cooked some vegetables, was wondering whether you mind trying out and help me to finish at the same time"

I smiled, and felt a little guilty, nodded and told her, okay

She continued frying and brought out two little metal containers (taken from the tiffin carriers), filled with her newly cooked dishes.

One was the stir-fried broccoli with carrots and shrimps, and the second was her 'failed attempt' at egg omelette with prawns (as she allegedly claimed).
The egg omelette turned out to be like scrambled eggs; but nevertheless, I assured her it tasted good (from the bottom of my heart, I didn't lie!)

Anyway, while we were sampling and tasting the food, we had a nice conversation; delving into some of what we call those heart-to-heart talk (for girls).

She revealed to me about her working life and also her relationship; something which I would not share here, of course.

It made me think again, career and love, for a woman, must it be in conflict?
What happens after marriage?
There are so many things a woman has to consider since young
And as we grow up, we still need to think about our career and our long-term goals, and the effects on her family

She is a bright and promising university graduate and yet, I was amazed by her devotion and dedication to her boyfriend; whom she stood by ever so strongly
To her, he means the world and I don't think she will ever put the relationship at stake for anything

I don't blame her, their relationship was no easy feat as well
It has a rock-strong foundation and it has been so many years they have been friends before it finally developed into a relationship
I am impressed and to a certain extent, wowed by her strength and her feminine side too

It is a choice we women have to make sometimes
Whether to aim for a lifetime success or to prioritize the family foundation
Success is self-defined
For some women, it may be to establish a strong career reputation and to have their own financial independence
Some would prefer to stand on their own and not even depend on any men (they may not want men in their lives because they do not like to be dependent)
Some may look at educating their children and keeping the house spick and span and tending to each of their husbands' needs and that would be their main success

I am glad I am born in this 21st century when women are finally having their own rights to think of what they want to do
And at least, we have a choice
Unlike the past, where women don't have a choice at all
To them, the minute they were born, it is a fate they have to accept
Their destiny is to learn whatever skills it is necessary to attract the right suitor and to marry into the right families and then that's it, their life is devoted to being a wife
Their success will be indicated by the upbringing of their children and taking care of the household (childbearing, husband's happiness are their objectives)

Today, it is all different
You can choose what you want to do
Nobody can tell you what to do

Of course, there are still conservative people, but it is our choice now
So, who cares whether you choose career or love as your first priority?
It is most important you make the right decision
And of course, if you have a partner already, you will discuss with him

So, career or love,it is all merely a perception